Showering once every two days. Brushing my pearly white teeth and cutting my hair whenever I feel like it. It felt really good to be back in single mode. And even while I’ve been bumming it up, I stayed true to my word of winking/messaging women on eHarmony that I matched with who were attractive. I didn’t really care if they responded or not because… well… after last month’s dinner with Damon, my mind is very focused on other things. Last week I saw that someone responded to one of my winks.
Her name was Samaa and I found her very attractive, but not just because of her looks. She was Middle-Eastern, lived just outside of Smalltown, and a professor at a popular college in the Upstate/Central NY region. She gave me her number and we set up a date for the next night at 6:30pm. Driving at night through dark country roads was brutal, but I got there 15 minutes early (as usual) and waited. 6:20. 6:25. 6:27. 6:28. 6:29. 6:30. No Samaa. I sent her a text and left a voicemail figuring that she stood me up, and got the hell out of there. 3 minutes after I drove off she texted me:
“I’m here. Just looking for parking.”
Hmm… I was actually hoping she didn’t respond so I could go home, as I really didn’t care. But I did a U-turn and drove back to the pace, where I found she took my parking spot! Serves me right I guess.
So I met her at the entrance of the Italian restaurant and she looked pretty good. Her 7 face and 8 body put me in a good mood. We sat down and started talking about our interests and regular date stuff. Samaa came to this country two years ago from Saudi Arabia, and had some stories about the lack of women’s rights in her home country. Being raised by a feminist, I’ve always enjoyed talking about feminist bullshit. Hell, my best relationship was with Christine… and she was a huge feminist. She also let me know that I was her first date ever, because women weren’t really allowed to “date” in Saudi Arabia and she had broke up with her only boyfriend a year ago. I tried to keep things somewhat sexual to see her interest level. Things were going good until then she asked me what religion I was.
I told her that half of my family is Christian while the other is Muslim, hoping that would be enough to satisfy her. She pressed further and, now that I think about it, this was the only question she seemed very determined to get an answer for. I told her that “I’m not affiliated with any gang”, and that was that. She tried to play it off by saying that she also doesn’t believe in labels, but I could tell that religion mattered to her. Seeing that the date wasn’t gonna end with no chance at eventual sex, I decided to just sit back and have fun.
I cracked jokes and really brought my A game. I knew it would be wasted on her, but I just wanted to make sure I still had an A game. She laughed her ass off and I made sure not to talk too much. It was good to know that I still got it. After the dinner, she offered a handshake to end the night. I seriously wanted to push her down the stairs at that insult. I don’t care how bad a date goes or whatever, I never end a date with a fucking handshake. Knowing that a kiss on the lips would be way too much for her, I kissed her on the cheek. I told her to let me know if she wants to date again and that was that. After a few days she texted me with this:
“Hi Ahkenaten it was really nice meeting you the other day. You are such a nice person and I had a very fun time. I think I am not interested in a second date.”
I already knew there wasn’t gonna be a second date, but that confirmed it. While I'm pretty sure it was the religion thing, it really could have been anything. She found it strange that I don't drink so that could have been something. It could have been the kiss on the cheek which made her noticeably uncomfortable. Thanks to the culture clash and the fact that I don't care, it'll remain a mystery. And, even if I had done everything right, her religion meant that I wouldn't have gotten laid for a long time with her. Ugh! You know, one may wonder why I put myself through this. I knew dating in Smalltown was gonna be a bad idea from the start, so why not end it here? I can’t really go into it now, but I have a very good reason. My eHarmony membership ends on December 13th, and that will be the final end of this dating journey… at least in Smalltown. Until then, bring on the rejection!
P.S.: One of the other reasons why I took this date was because of Samaa's accent. I'm not sure I've ever mentioned this, but accents are a massive turn-on for me. African, English, Russian, Korean... I don't care which one really. It's so sexy to hear something other than the bland American accent I hear all the time.
Her name was Samaa and I found her very attractive, but not just because of her looks. She was Middle-Eastern, lived just outside of Smalltown, and a professor at a popular college in the Upstate/Central NY region. She gave me her number and we set up a date for the next night at 6:30pm. Driving at night through dark country roads was brutal, but I got there 15 minutes early (as usual) and waited. 6:20. 6:25. 6:27. 6:28. 6:29. 6:30. No Samaa. I sent her a text and left a voicemail figuring that she stood me up, and got the hell out of there. 3 minutes after I drove off she texted me:
“I’m here. Just looking for parking.”
Hmm… I was actually hoping she didn’t respond so I could go home, as I really didn’t care. But I did a U-turn and drove back to the pace, where I found she took my parking spot! Serves me right I guess.
So I met her at the entrance of the Italian restaurant and she looked pretty good. Her 7 face and 8 body put me in a good mood. We sat down and started talking about our interests and regular date stuff. Samaa came to this country two years ago from Saudi Arabia, and had some stories about the lack of women’s rights in her home country. Being raised by a feminist, I’ve always enjoyed talking about feminist bullshit. Hell, my best relationship was with Christine… and she was a huge feminist. She also let me know that I was her first date ever, because women weren’t really allowed to “date” in Saudi Arabia and she had broke up with her only boyfriend a year ago. I tried to keep things somewhat sexual to see her interest level. Things were going good until then she asked me what religion I was.
I told her that half of my family is Christian while the other is Muslim, hoping that would be enough to satisfy her. She pressed further and, now that I think about it, this was the only question she seemed very determined to get an answer for. I told her that “I’m not affiliated with any gang”, and that was that. She tried to play it off by saying that she also doesn’t believe in labels, but I could tell that religion mattered to her. Seeing that the date wasn’t gonna end with no chance at eventual sex, I decided to just sit back and have fun.
I cracked jokes and really brought my A game. I knew it would be wasted on her, but I just wanted to make sure I still had an A game. She laughed her ass off and I made sure not to talk too much. It was good to know that I still got it. After the dinner, she offered a handshake to end the night. I seriously wanted to push her down the stairs at that insult. I don’t care how bad a date goes or whatever, I never end a date with a fucking handshake. Knowing that a kiss on the lips would be way too much for her, I kissed her on the cheek. I told her to let me know if she wants to date again and that was that. After a few days she texted me with this:
“Hi Ahkenaten it was really nice meeting you the other day. You are such a nice person and I had a very fun time. I think I am not interested in a second date.”
I already knew there wasn’t gonna be a second date, but that confirmed it. While I'm pretty sure it was the religion thing, it really could have been anything. She found it strange that I don't drink so that could have been something. It could have been the kiss on the cheek which made her noticeably uncomfortable. Thanks to the culture clash and the fact that I don't care, it'll remain a mystery. And, even if I had done everything right, her religion meant that I wouldn't have gotten laid for a long time with her. Ugh! You know, one may wonder why I put myself through this. I knew dating in Smalltown was gonna be a bad idea from the start, so why not end it here? I can’t really go into it now, but I have a very good reason. My eHarmony membership ends on December 13th, and that will be the final end of this dating journey… at least in Smalltown. Until then, bring on the rejection!
P.S.: One of the other reasons why I took this date was because of Samaa's accent. I'm not sure I've ever mentioned this, but accents are a massive turn-on for me. African, English, Russian, Korean... I don't care which one really. It's so sexy to hear something other than the bland American accent I hear all the time.
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