Apt 1- Black Family: $700
Apt 2 - Black Couple: $0 (LAST MONTH)
Total Rents Received: $700
Repair Costs: $150 ($120 Alfonso Maintenance Fee + $30 Lawnmowing)
Total Profit for Anita: $550 (used to pay taxes)
Property 1
Apt 1 – Dharma and Family: $525
Apt 2 - Belle and Sebastian: $875
Total Rents Received: $1400
Mortgage: $833
National Grid: $122.02
Repair Expenses: $111.19 (Kitchen faucet, gloves, light)
Total Profit: $333.79
Property 2
Apt 1 – Gianna: $0 (LAST MONTH)
Apt 2 – Edward and Gabby: $750
Total Rents Received: $750
Mortgage: $752
Repair Expenses:0
Total Profit: -$2
Property 3
Apt 1 - Chucky: $435
Apt 2 – VACANT
Apt 3 – Rory: $530
Apt 4 - Taniqua and Eugene: $570 ($70 LATE FEE)
Total Rents Received: $1,535
Mortgage: $887
Repair Expenses: $3,044.08
National Grid: $199.11
Total Profit: -$2,595.19
Property 4
Tenant Latisha: $900
Repair Expenses: $233.98
Total Profit: $666.02
Lawnmowing Fee: $150
Net Real Estate Profit for August 2017: -$1,747.38
Three negative months in one year. Feels like 2011 all over again...
Property X
The black couple in the upstairs apartment are finally gone. Along with their chronic late payments, I hated the fact that they would mingle with the diseased mutants in the neighborhood and bring them over to hang out on the porch. Mingle? In THAT neighborhood?? The final straw was when Alfonso called me stating they were involved in a shooting. Apparently they got into it with their drug-dealing neighbors across the street and got shot at. The very next day I sent them a 30 day notice. I went over to the apartment with Alfonso the other day, and the place looked pretty good. Some paint and polyurethane will make that place look like new again. I ran into an interesting situation when they wanted their security deposit back. Public Assistance paid half of their last month’s rent ($250), but I had already used their security deposit to cover that rent. So even though they won’t get their security deposit back, I have to return the $250 to Public Assistance because their rent was already paid for through the deposit… and I can’t take rent twice. Darn.
Property 1
Before I got rid of him, Handyman Scott did a little bit of work in the Nepali’s apartment. I also had to buy mouse bait after finding one of those little bastards in the basement. I thought about calling my usual Pest Control guys, but I’m tired of them. They charge over $200 just to block of outside holes with foam and place mouse bait wherever mouse activity is detected. That’s it. The problem is that foam isn’t enough. Mice can eat through that shit so any holes must be sealed with mortar. That’s seriously all one has to do to get rid of mice in an apartment. Why pay over $200 for something so simple??
A few months ago I forgot to mention that this happened in the backyard:
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| Big tree falls from the next door property's backyard to mine. Great. |
The next door property is owned by a bank, so the chances of me getting those assholes to pay for the tree removal is probably zero. Thankfully no one really uses the backyard, so I’m gonna take care of the removal next year April or May.
Property 2
Gianna is finally gone and I’m feeling good about that. Although she was a pain in the ass as a tenant, she did a very good job of cleaning up after she left. I always felt weird about throwing her out because of her cultural background. She used to own the land, then she's kicked off, then she gets to rent the land, and then gets thrown out again! Ah well. A good paint job should make the place look like new again. I may also hire a trash removal company to finally get rid of all the shit in that basement, and then prohibit anyone from storing stuff there.
Property 3
At last, the vacant apartment is finished!
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| Living Room Before |
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| Living Room Again |
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| Kitchen Before |
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| New Living Room |
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| Living Room Again |
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| New Bedroom. Quick Note: When I took pictures of the place after Thomas left, there was so much mess in there that I didn't know the place had a bedroom. That's why there's no "before" picture for the bedroom. I seriously thought it was a studio apartment until Alfonso showed me. |
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| New Kitchen. I now buy my stainless steel appliances from a new place, and pay around $500 for each item. The stove and refrigerator accounted for $1104 of the August repairs. |
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| New Kitchen Again |
Honestly, this would have been done by May if it weren’t for my shitty attitude and lack of focus this year. Nevertheless it’s finished, and looks incredible compared to what it was. Alfonso says he can get $650 a month ($125 more than the previous tenancy) and already has a few applicants that might work out, albeit through Public Assistance. Eugene and Taniqua were almost thrown out, but managed to pay the money owed at zero hour thanks to rental assistance. They have only two more months before their rent is increased to $550, and any late payments from November through the winter will result in an immediate 30-day notice. I set it up that way because it’s very easy to rent out a utilities-included apartment in the winter. The turnover should also be quick because their place only needs paint and new kitchen cupboards.
In July, Rory asked about the vacant apartment, wanting to move in his two unemployed cousins once the place was finished. Knowing that I would never agree to having more Rory in my life, I told him that they can fill out an application once it’s finished. I also let him know that the rent would be between $600 and $650. Fast forward to August, where the apartment was finished and his cousins called Alfonso about the place. Once he let them know the place was for $650, they gave up. A few minutes later I got a call from everyone’s favorite pedophile, complaining that the rent was too high for a “dump like that place”. He also called us (the property management company I pretend to work for) the cheapest people ever, although I think he meant to say greediest people ever. I didn’t respond to anything, choosing to hang up the phone on him instead. I really enjoyed making him angry and was hopeful that this, along with his rent being raised to $600 in November, would get him to finally leave. Unfortunately he has no plans to move, so I’ll just have to take pleasure in him having to pay more money. A part of me is kind of glad he’s staying, as I’ve thrown out so many people already and don’t have the money for another renovation. But, to be honest, I'll be more than happy to throw his ass out and finally get rid of that awful feeling of having a child rapist as a tenant. Might be worth the trouble.
Property 4
Remember the “bird’s nest” that was in Latisha’s bedroom wall? Turns out they weren’t birds at all:
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| After weeks of phone tag, Animal Control finally comes to do what they do. This guy was an asshole because he kept scaring Latisha with comments like, "We can take the babies out now, but that mother squirrel is gonna go crazy when she comes back. She might end up ripping the place apart looking for her babies." Oh and also, "Yeah, this area has a ton of squirrel activity. Last month we had to remove like 30 squirrels from your next door neighbor's house." NOT what I wanted Latisha to hear. His boss came and reassured her that everything will be fine. |
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| A baby gray squirrel. There's two more underneath all that debris |
Evidently, a gray squirrel kicked out the family of birds and used the nest to have her own babies. Animal Control came and removed the babies, who started crying very loud. Latisha felt sad and said “Awww…”, and I really wanted to give her a slap upside her head. Those little bastards aren’t costing HER $99. After the removal, I had Alfonso come and seal the chimney spacing with metal flashing. Once he got up on the roof, he found a big hole where the animals were getting in and out. So he flashed that as well, which should end the wildlife crisis at Property 4 and give Latisha some much deserved peace of mind.
I should begin to bounce back in September. In fact, this should be my last negative month for a while. Other than Rory and Chucky, every apartment I have has been renovated at least once, which means faster and much cheaper turnovers. All the big expenses have finally been paid for, so now it’s all about renting out the vacant apartments. Alfonso’s outside projects are finally finished, so it’ll be good to have him back to help out if needed. The only big expense for September is Property 4’s tax bill which should be around $1500. If I get two of the three vacant apartments rented out, that tax bill won’t be an issue at all. I really hope this whole experience teaches me how important it is to get a place renovated quickly. Even if I go through a period where I don’t care, I need to have handymen who do care and are hungry enough to get the place rental ready fast and cheap. Handyman Scott was a diseased piece of garbage, but he did most of the work that was needed in a month’s time. Once I got rid of him, it was a simple matter of staining the floor and touching up some paint. I’ll need to continue trying out handymen so that I’ll always have someone available.
P.S.: I was supposed to write this on the 1st of the month, but I was on vacation. I spent 9 days at BM Shangri-La, the longest time I spent away from Smalltown ever. The trip wasn’t as epic as I had hoped, what with Brooklyn Mike’s loud snoring and a pinched sciatic nerve that kept me lying down half the time. But any time away from Smalltown is a good time, so I won’t complain.
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