So...
When I last left off in the "Family Bullshit" section of my life, my dad Alan had to come up with money to pay off his house before it got foreclosed on. I applied for a loan, hoping that I could get approved and then he'd be able to pay them off with his social security. Well, I was denied... the explanation was that damned "debt to income" ratio once again. So what was I gonna do? With no options left and not wanting my father to be homeless, I decided to pay off his house using my savings: $19,000 in cash. I... I just sat for a moment to read that number again. Nineteen thousand fucking dollars. All gone. Before I go crazy and let out the mother of all rants, I think I should clarify what I meant earlier when I said I had "no options".
Alan's options are the people around him. His church friends offer emotional support, but nothing financial. He asked one of them for advice and they responded with something like "Find a way to pay it. $20,000 isn't a lot of money." I wouldn't trust them anyway, as they were the ones who introduced him to "Pastor" Morona, who robbed him of all his money and put him in this situation in the first place. So now we turn to family options...
My mom Anita is immediately eliminated as a source of help. As I said in previous posts, Anita divorced him a long time ago, and shouldn't have to be burdened with his bullshit. My sister Ana tried to help by searching for a 401k that Alan claimed had over $140,000 in it. She didn't find anything, and I kinda knew there would be no money. A claim like that coming up at the zero hour is almost always bullshit. And even though she wasn't in a financial position to pay $19,000, even a little money would have helped. My brother Alex was told about the situation from Alan himself. His response to both him and me was "Let me know if there's anything I can do." Pause.
My English degree has been almost completely useless, but there is one thing that I picked up on in college: the English language allows a person to say one thing which actually means something else. To me, Alan said "I need money" and Alex's "let me know if there's anything I can do" translates into "I'll help if I have to, but I'd prefer to stay out of it." If Alex really wanted to help his father who bore and helped raise him, he'd say something like "I'll see what I can do". See? Passive vs Active. Like I'm really gonna come to him and ask him to help his own father... please! So with everyone eliminated, I became the last option.
Being denied for the loan meant that I really didn't have a choice except to use my precious savings to pay it off. The total amount was $25,000, so I took $6,000 from Alan's account and then added my $19,000. After the guy at Chase made the wire transfer, I thought I would feel good about it. But it still felt awful. I honestly think that my father thought that me having to take care of him would bring us closer together, but it's had the opposite effect. I was angry then, and I'm still a little angry as I write this. Sometimes I try to give Alan the benefit of the doubt, as I don't know how I would act if I had two strokes and been robbed of my sight and most of my mobility. It's about the choices he makes now that I know he would have made back then. Alan chose not to pursue legal action against the bitch who stole his money, choosing instead to burden his children (ME) with his problems. And while his other two kids seemed okay with having him homeless, I couldn't do it. Trust me, I tried. And now I'm in huge debt partly because of it.
I've maxed out my $25,000 business line of credit. I've maxed out my $15,000 personal card. And, as of today, I've maxed out my $15,000 business card. The attic apartment still needs about $5,000 of materials and labor before it's finally finished. I have yet to pay any water or National Grid bills in 2019. And now the $19,000 safety net I had is now gone, so I'll have to find a way to pay all these things down.
When I last left off in the "Family Bullshit" section of my life, my dad Alan had to come up with money to pay off his house before it got foreclosed on. I applied for a loan, hoping that I could get approved and then he'd be able to pay them off with his social security. Well, I was denied... the explanation was that damned "debt to income" ratio once again. So what was I gonna do? With no options left and not wanting my father to be homeless, I decided to pay off his house using my savings: $19,000 in cash. I... I just sat for a moment to read that number again. Nineteen thousand fucking dollars. All gone. Before I go crazy and let out the mother of all rants, I think I should clarify what I meant earlier when I said I had "no options".
Alan's options are the people around him. His church friends offer emotional support, but nothing financial. He asked one of them for advice and they responded with something like "Find a way to pay it. $20,000 isn't a lot of money." I wouldn't trust them anyway, as they were the ones who introduced him to "Pastor" Morona, who robbed him of all his money and put him in this situation in the first place. So now we turn to family options...
My mom Anita is immediately eliminated as a source of help. As I said in previous posts, Anita divorced him a long time ago, and shouldn't have to be burdened with his bullshit. My sister Ana tried to help by searching for a 401k that Alan claimed had over $140,000 in it. She didn't find anything, and I kinda knew there would be no money. A claim like that coming up at the zero hour is almost always bullshit. And even though she wasn't in a financial position to pay $19,000, even a little money would have helped. My brother Alex was told about the situation from Alan himself. His response to both him and me was "Let me know if there's anything I can do." Pause.
My English degree has been almost completely useless, but there is one thing that I picked up on in college: the English language allows a person to say one thing which actually means something else. To me, Alan said "I need money" and Alex's "let me know if there's anything I can do" translates into "I'll help if I have to, but I'd prefer to stay out of it." If Alex really wanted to help his father who bore and helped raise him, he'd say something like "I'll see what I can do". See? Passive vs Active. Like I'm really gonna come to him and ask him to help his own father... please! So with everyone eliminated, I became the last option.
Being denied for the loan meant that I really didn't have a choice except to use my precious savings to pay it off. The total amount was $25,000, so I took $6,000 from Alan's account and then added my $19,000. After the guy at Chase made the wire transfer, I thought I would feel good about it. But it still felt awful. I honestly think that my father thought that me having to take care of him would bring us closer together, but it's had the opposite effect. I was angry then, and I'm still a little angry as I write this. Sometimes I try to give Alan the benefit of the doubt, as I don't know how I would act if I had two strokes and been robbed of my sight and most of my mobility. It's about the choices he makes now that I know he would have made back then. Alan chose not to pursue legal action against the bitch who stole his money, choosing instead to burden his children (ME) with his problems. And while his other two kids seemed okay with having him homeless, I couldn't do it. Trust me, I tried. And now I'm in huge debt partly because of it.
I've maxed out my $25,000 business line of credit. I've maxed out my $15,000 personal card. And, as of today, I've maxed out my $15,000 business card. The attic apartment still needs about $5,000 of materials and labor before it's finally finished. I have yet to pay any water or National Grid bills in 2019. And now the $19,000 safety net I had is now gone, so I'll have to find a way to pay all these things down.
Obviously I have to stay at the bank job for as long as I can, at least until the end of March. During that time, it's very important to get that goddamned apartment in Property 5 rented out. I have to spend as little as possible on food and gas while coming up with payment plans for virtually all my bills. Alan's monthly payment of $750 helps, but obviously not as much as nineteen thousand fucking dollars. With some luck, I should be doing okay by the end of April.
Family brings you down. I've said it for years and one would think that I would have learned from those words. This is why I limit conversation with all family members because it's very rare that good comes out of it. My sister lived in his house for years rent free and couldn't come up with some bucks. I think my brother borrowed thousands from Alan, but wanted to be asked instead of offering any real help. And now the slow-witted security guard with debts up the ass had to step in to save the day. Some things never fucking change.
I know what this looks like. I remember that scene in "Clerks" where Dante complains about having to be at work ("I didn't even have to be here today!") and Randall reminds Dante that he had a choice and chose to come in on his day off. Trust me, I didn't have a choice. If I could've been like everyone else I would have, but I couldn't.
It sickens me to know that I'll be retiring from paycheck jobs soon and I'll have a debt that'll take at least two years to pay off. Some retirement, eh?
P.S.: I'll get to work on the January Property Earnings, but I may just wait unit this month is over and do two reports in one.
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