I was thinking just now about what happened with PP4 #7. I basically needed $5,000 more in reserves to qualify for the loan. I could have asked my mom Anita for the money. I might’ve been able to ask my brother Alex for it, since it would be money for show and not for spending. I could have asked, so why didn’t I?
You know, I’ve always believed in the My Fault philosophy that I live by. If I fall on hard times, the only way I’m going to learn not to make the same mistakes is to dig myself out of it. My problem should never become someone else’s problem. In the PP4 #7 situation, this was absolutely my fault. I should have asked about pre-qualification before I went property hunting. I shouldn’t have lost so much money in the stock market (I’ll do that post at the end of this month). Had I done these things, I would be in prime position to buy that property and get that oh-so-sweet $28,000 in immediate equity. So now, I know to check with the banks before I do this again. Lesson learned. End of story.
But there’s more to this story. I’m seeing the advantages of asking for help. The biggest advantage is that by asking for help, I recognize my limitations. A man that recognizes his limitations is stronger because he doesn’t go forward against odds he can’t overcome. A lot of times I’ll say something like
“I want to do this venture on my own so that, when I retire, I can thank no one but myself because I did it without any help.”
But is that true? I was born three months premature. If it wasn’t for doctors and my parents’ strong African genes, I wouldn’t have made it. I was fed every day when I was a kid, sometimes overfed. I was clothed and educated. Brooklyn Mike befriended me which kept my sanity from the 6th grade until my high school graduation. My Nigerian driving instructor helped me get Property 1 by saying that I worked for him and made a certain amount of money that qualified me to get the mortgage. All these people have helped me, so why do I hold so closely to the belief that I’ve done it on my own when I haven’t?
I think my philosophy and desire to do things on my own come from my parents. They would always do their businesses without telling us. It wasn’t until I was an adult that I found out that both my parents owned real estate in Nigeria. They both worked hard to get to become successful, but I’m pretty sure they got help (especially as 1st generation Americans). In fact, I’m sure that the most powerful world leaders and businessmen had to get help from friends and family to get where they are today.
Ugh, I’m still a child with much to learn about life it would seem. I think there are lessons that I still have to learn about the true definitions of strength and weakness. I know that there’s nothing wrong in asking for help from banks, like applying for a mortgage or getting a loan. I get something (the property) and they get something (interest). But I still find something wrong with borrowing money from friends and family, and I don’t know why I still hold to those antiquated notions. The My Fault philosophy is certainly educational, but couldn’t I learn the same lesson and have borrowed the money at the same time?
This post will take a long time for me to understand, and even longer to learn the lessons. I have no doubt that my ego is going to fight the theme of this post ferociously (my rebuttal for this post is already being mentally written as I write this). But admitting that there’s a lesson to be learned is a start. Everybody's gotta start from somewhere...
You know, I’ve always believed in the My Fault philosophy that I live by. If I fall on hard times, the only way I’m going to learn not to make the same mistakes is to dig myself out of it. My problem should never become someone else’s problem. In the PP4 #7 situation, this was absolutely my fault. I should have asked about pre-qualification before I went property hunting. I shouldn’t have lost so much money in the stock market (I’ll do that post at the end of this month). Had I done these things, I would be in prime position to buy that property and get that oh-so-sweet $28,000 in immediate equity. So now, I know to check with the banks before I do this again. Lesson learned. End of story.
But there’s more to this story. I’m seeing the advantages of asking for help. The biggest advantage is that by asking for help, I recognize my limitations. A man that recognizes his limitations is stronger because he doesn’t go forward against odds he can’t overcome. A lot of times I’ll say something like
“I want to do this venture on my own so that, when I retire, I can thank no one but myself because I did it without any help.”
But is that true? I was born three months premature. If it wasn’t for doctors and my parents’ strong African genes, I wouldn’t have made it. I was fed every day when I was a kid, sometimes overfed. I was clothed and educated. Brooklyn Mike befriended me which kept my sanity from the 6th grade until my high school graduation. My Nigerian driving instructor helped me get Property 1 by saying that I worked for him and made a certain amount of money that qualified me to get the mortgage. All these people have helped me, so why do I hold so closely to the belief that I’ve done it on my own when I haven’t?
I think my philosophy and desire to do things on my own come from my parents. They would always do their businesses without telling us. It wasn’t until I was an adult that I found out that both my parents owned real estate in Nigeria. They both worked hard to get to become successful, but I’m pretty sure they got help (especially as 1st generation Americans). In fact, I’m sure that the most powerful world leaders and businessmen had to get help from friends and family to get where they are today.
Ugh, I’m still a child with much to learn about life it would seem. I think there are lessons that I still have to learn about the true definitions of strength and weakness. I know that there’s nothing wrong in asking for help from banks, like applying for a mortgage or getting a loan. I get something (the property) and they get something (interest). But I still find something wrong with borrowing money from friends and family, and I don’t know why I still hold to those antiquated notions. The My Fault philosophy is certainly educational, but couldn’t I learn the same lesson and have borrowed the money at the same time?
This post will take a long time for me to understand, and even longer to learn the lessons. I have no doubt that my ego is going to fight the theme of this post ferociously (my rebuttal for this post is already being mentally written as I write this). But admitting that there’s a lesson to be learned is a start. Everybody's gotta start from somewhere...
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