Every year or two, I write a post that starts off with a line like this, “This is the last time I’m gonna write about family.” Well, this is one of those posts and I really hope this is the last time because I never actually re-read these family-themed posts. They always make me angry and I learn nothing. Nevertheless, here we go…
My mom Anita came to Smalltown for a three day visit durin gthe first week of July that ended in disaster. To make a long story extremely vague and short, I rolled out the red carpet for Anita. I drove her around, set it up so that Alfonso could take her to her Property X, got her a nice hotel room with a king sized bed and kitchen, and even took her out to eat multiple times and paid for it. In return, she did something that equated to spitting in my face. I won’t go into detail because I know how angry I’ll get, but she basically disrespected me like I've never been before. It brought back memories of when I was a kid, and she'd always used to do things to embarrass me in front of people on purpose. For some reason, it was always more important to look good in front of strangers than family. Despite that, she was the last person I trusted in my family until that Thursday. Now, everything is clear.
I always thought that the biggest issue in the Kor family is that we treat outsiders better than we treat family. And maybe that’s true. But for me personally, the biggest issue is that this family has absolutely no respect for me. It’s the only way to explain why Anita felt she could come to a place that I built a life for myself for 11 years and disrespect me in such a way. It’s the only way to explain how my siblings felt comfortable stepping aside, forcing me to become my father’s power of attorney and deal with the day-to-day headaches of his miserable life. And part of it stems from a character trait my mother reminded me about during her visit.
Back when I was about 9, I stole rent money from Anita’s purse because I desperately wanted to buy the new Game Boy. Since the game store was closed so early in the morning, I spent some of the money on a Tiger Electronics Shinobi and bought some snacks that I could usually never afford from the school vendor. My mom found out, came up to the school, and was slapping the shit out of me in the stairwell. Up until Anita’s recent visit, that’s all I remembered about that situation. Anita reminded me that we had to stop off at a local mini-mart. Evidently, I felt bad for the store owner who didn’t have a lot of business coming in and gave him the remaining $300 to help him out. He ended up giving back the money and told my mom that she should go easy on me because I’m a nice kid. A nice kid. That’s what I was, or at least what I pretended to be. If I’m always the “nice kid”, then it means I can be taken advantage of. I can be disrespected without worry because the nice kid won’t fight back. Having my mother here was a massive disaster, but it finally gave me my biggest clue yet of why my family treats me as they do.
I’ve decided to keep things short and sweet with family members from now on. Text instead of phone calls, with the exception being my dad Alan since he’s blind. And I need to lie as much as possible with them, to protect what I’m doing here. I remember feeling a bit guilty when Anita first arrived, that she only knew about two properties I bought and not the other 3. After she left, I was so happy that I didn’t tell her anything, as LFS (Lie For Success) proved its merits once again! In previous posts on family, I’d talk about how the Kor name has dignity and promise and all that jazz. It turned out to be nothing more than a fantasy in my head. We Kors value and respect the word of outsiders over blood, and you can’t have a family unit that doesn’t respect each other. I resisted giving up on that dream for so long but, if I’m the only one who believed it, what’s the point? I might as well join the party! Still, it doesn’t feel any better when I see families walking down the street having a good time.
Finally, I have to say that despite all this, I’m not giving up my familial duties. I had to help take care of my grandmother, I have to take care of my dad, and when the time comes I’ll have to be the one who takes care of my mother. No one else will step up, a fact that’s been made painfully clear to me. And that’s okay. But if I’m going to do all that crap, then I have to protect the few things in life that give me joy… and my life in Smalltown is slowly becoming one of those things.
P.S.: Here’s a different way to look at this situation. Two days ago I woke up and the middle of my bed had a load of blood on it. There was enough blood on me to be uncertain as to whether it came from my front or my back. I just bought a property that will require 4 apartment renovations, including building the attic apartment from scratch… renovations, by the way, that I have no money for. With these being just TWO of my current problems, who cares why family doesn’t respect me? I have more important things to worry about.
P.P.S.: I've also decided to make Brooklyn Mike the one who takes over my properties when I'm finally dead. He really is the last person I trust, and it makes sense when one thinks about it. If I'm gonna be like everyone else in this worthless family, I might as well trust an outsider.
My mom Anita came to Smalltown for a three day visit durin gthe first week of July that ended in disaster. To make a long story extremely vague and short, I rolled out the red carpet for Anita. I drove her around, set it up so that Alfonso could take her to her Property X, got her a nice hotel room with a king sized bed and kitchen, and even took her out to eat multiple times and paid for it. In return, she did something that equated to spitting in my face. I won’t go into detail because I know how angry I’ll get, but she basically disrespected me like I've never been before. It brought back memories of when I was a kid, and she'd always used to do things to embarrass me in front of people on purpose. For some reason, it was always more important to look good in front of strangers than family. Despite that, she was the last person I trusted in my family until that Thursday. Now, everything is clear.
I always thought that the biggest issue in the Kor family is that we treat outsiders better than we treat family. And maybe that’s true. But for me personally, the biggest issue is that this family has absolutely no respect for me. It’s the only way to explain why Anita felt she could come to a place that I built a life for myself for 11 years and disrespect me in such a way. It’s the only way to explain how my siblings felt comfortable stepping aside, forcing me to become my father’s power of attorney and deal with the day-to-day headaches of his miserable life. And part of it stems from a character trait my mother reminded me about during her visit.
Back when I was about 9, I stole rent money from Anita’s purse because I desperately wanted to buy the new Game Boy. Since the game store was closed so early in the morning, I spent some of the money on a Tiger Electronics Shinobi and bought some snacks that I could usually never afford from the school vendor. My mom found out, came up to the school, and was slapping the shit out of me in the stairwell. Up until Anita’s recent visit, that’s all I remembered about that situation. Anita reminded me that we had to stop off at a local mini-mart. Evidently, I felt bad for the store owner who didn’t have a lot of business coming in and gave him the remaining $300 to help him out. He ended up giving back the money and told my mom that she should go easy on me because I’m a nice kid. A nice kid. That’s what I was, or at least what I pretended to be. If I’m always the “nice kid”, then it means I can be taken advantage of. I can be disrespected without worry because the nice kid won’t fight back. Having my mother here was a massive disaster, but it finally gave me my biggest clue yet of why my family treats me as they do.
I’ve decided to keep things short and sweet with family members from now on. Text instead of phone calls, with the exception being my dad Alan since he’s blind. And I need to lie as much as possible with them, to protect what I’m doing here. I remember feeling a bit guilty when Anita first arrived, that she only knew about two properties I bought and not the other 3. After she left, I was so happy that I didn’t tell her anything, as LFS (Lie For Success) proved its merits once again! In previous posts on family, I’d talk about how the Kor name has dignity and promise and all that jazz. It turned out to be nothing more than a fantasy in my head. We Kors value and respect the word of outsiders over blood, and you can’t have a family unit that doesn’t respect each other. I resisted giving up on that dream for so long but, if I’m the only one who believed it, what’s the point? I might as well join the party! Still, it doesn’t feel any better when I see families walking down the street having a good time.
Finally, I have to say that despite all this, I’m not giving up my familial duties. I had to help take care of my grandmother, I have to take care of my dad, and when the time comes I’ll have to be the one who takes care of my mother. No one else will step up, a fact that’s been made painfully clear to me. And that’s okay. But if I’m going to do all that crap, then I have to protect the few things in life that give me joy… and my life in Smalltown is slowly becoming one of those things.
P.S.: Here’s a different way to look at this situation. Two days ago I woke up and the middle of my bed had a load of blood on it. There was enough blood on me to be uncertain as to whether it came from my front or my back. I just bought a property that will require 4 apartment renovations, including building the attic apartment from scratch… renovations, by the way, that I have no money for. With these being just TWO of my current problems, who cares why family doesn’t respect me? I have more important things to worry about.
P.P.S.: I've also decided to make Brooklyn Mike the one who takes over my properties when I'm finally dead. He really is the last person I trust, and it makes sense when one thinks about it. If I'm gonna be like everyone else in this worthless family, I might as well trust an outsider.
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