You know, ever since May I’ve lost a ton of motivation. I haven’t cooked
in well over a month. I barely get out of bed. Last week I took two
days off of work because I felt no desire to leave the apartment or take a shower. The depression was smothering me. My new role of being my father Alan's power of attorney has been incredibly annoying and overwhelming. With my mom Anita bothering me about not having kids on one side and my father bothering me about whatever whim is on his mind at the time, it feels more like I've become head of the family. Feels like it even more knowing that my siblings quickly stepped aside, forcing me to take the role while they can live their lives. Being used to speaking to my parents once every couple of weeks, I now have to deal with almost daily conversations with them and it drove me absolutely insane. With Anita coming to Smalltown tomorrow for what promises to be a very annoying four-day visit, one would think that I would be going crazy right now... but I'm not.
One thing I can say for sure is that I appreciate Smalltown very much. This is my safe haven, my home away from all the family bullshit. To think of all the times I've cursed this city, and how I hated the slack jawed, pick-up driving Smalltown mongrels that stare at everything. But in this city, I'm the only Kor and that fact is enough to make this a paradise. I'm building my dream apartment in the attic of Property 5. I'll be quitting my job at the end of this year to finally start making a life for myself. So it makes sense that I started finding little ways to enjoy myself.
In May, I went to the Rent 20th Anniversary musical in Rochester NY. It was my first time seeing a live musical, and it was incredible. The acting, the singing, the production... everything let me know that these guys were professionals. Despite the woman next to me crying when Angel died, I really had a good time and made the long drive home with a big smile on my face.
In February, I was one of many backers to an Indiegogo project for the GPD Win 2, a handheld laptop that runs on Windows 10 and plays a ton of games. I received it last week and have been obsessed with it since. Throughout my life, I've always loved handheld games and been searching for one that can play all the games I want. The GPD Win 2 does it wonderfully, and I've traded in my nights driving around for hookers for nights playing video games in the comfort of my bed. I love being able to play games lying down, without having to crank my neck looking at a TV screen.
In August I plan to take a vacation to Brooklyn Mike's Shangri-la, and I'll do it again during Thanksgiving week, as the renovations to Property 5 should be done by then and I can celebrate in style. Once the Thanksgiving vacation is over, I may be returning to a finished attic apartment in Property 5 and that should make me very content.
One thing I can say for sure is that I appreciate Smalltown very much. This is my safe haven, my home away from all the family bullshit. To think of all the times I've cursed this city, and how I hated the slack jawed, pick-up driving Smalltown mongrels that stare at everything. But in this city, I'm the only Kor and that fact is enough to make this a paradise. I'm building my dream apartment in the attic of Property 5. I'll be quitting my job at the end of this year to finally start making a life for myself. So it makes sense that I started finding little ways to enjoy myself.
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| I look at this picture thinking about that "525,600 Minutes" song... still gives me a warm feeling! |
In May, I went to the Rent 20th Anniversary musical in Rochester NY. It was my first time seeing a live musical, and it was incredible. The acting, the singing, the production... everything let me know that these guys were professionals. Despite the woman next to me crying when Angel died, I really had a good time and made the long drive home with a big smile on my face.
In February, I was one of many backers to an Indiegogo project for the GPD Win 2, a handheld laptop that runs on Windows 10 and plays a ton of games. I received it last week and have been obsessed with it since. Throughout my life, I've always loved handheld games and been searching for one that can play all the games I want. The GPD Win 2 does it wonderfully, and I've traded in my nights driving around for hookers for nights playing video games in the comfort of my bed. I love being able to play games lying down, without having to crank my neck looking at a TV screen.
In August I plan to take a vacation to Brooklyn Mike's Shangri-la, and I'll do it again during Thanksgiving week, as the renovations to Property 5 should be done by then and I can celebrate in style. Once the Thanksgiving vacation is over, I may be returning to a finished attic apartment in Property 5 and that should make me very content.
This past Saturday was the beginning of Hell Week, seven days of 95 degree temperatures that will last until Thursday. My mom Anita will be visiting from Monday through Thursday (big coincidence). And there are so many things I have to take care of on the real estate side, as it's the first week of the month. While I'm sure to be stressed, I also know I'll be okay because it's all happening in my backyard where I call the shots. As crazy as it sounds when I hear myself say it, Smalltown is my "backyard". In this place, I'm building for myself a neat mini-empire that will allow me to quit paycheck work and start enjoying myself. The family situation reminded me how important it is to have some fun, because dealing with all their bullshit with no relief is no kind of life. Whether it's relaxing on my bed playing games or going out to see theater, I feel like I'm just beginning to learn how to balance having fun and dealing with bullshit. Surprisingly, Smalltown is playing a big role in the fun part of my life and I'm looking forward to exploring the possibilities.
P.S.: I'm serious about exploring the possibilities. Video games and theater are nice, but I'll need a hell of a lot more to keep things interesting.
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