A Historical Refusal

I have an extremely high level of natural confidence, so it takes a lot to surprise me. But last week Friday was unbelievable.

On Friday I wasn't in the mood for breakfast. As time grew closer for lunch, I decided that I was gonna finally use my Subway card to get a free sub. Thanks to the years of eating outside foods, I have well over 3500 points, which is equivalent to about 46 free foot-long regular subs, or 35 foot-long premium subs. Figured I'd use the card a few times every year, saving it for the lazy days when I don't feel like cooking. So I put on my clothes and was getting ready to go, but then I stopped. I didn't really know why at first, but the thought of eating at Subways made me sick. So instead, I made my turkey burgers and air-fried french fries. It was the first time in my entire history of eating that I chose bought food that I had to prepare at home over free food that I didn't have to make. I felt really good about it, but I still didn't get why I felt so against eating Subway food. Out of all the fast food chains, Subway is promoted as the healthiest, right? So what was the problem?

I decided to find out by getting a free Subway sub for Saturday's shipping depot shift, to go along with my homemade rice. As the minimum waged ghetto ass broad broad made my food, I started looking at the meatballs. Did she make them? Are they from last night? What about that sauce? Where's that sauce from? All these questions started circling in my head and it almost made me sick. I went to the shipping depot and ate my rice. It tasted great, and I had a good amount of energy for my shift. At around 8pm (my cutoff for eating), I finally warmed up the meatball sub. It tasted good, but I didn't get that same feeling I got from the rice. It felt... unnecessary. I tried it again on Sunday, this time toasting it in the toaster oven and eating it earlier. Same result. It felt like I was eating nothing.

So what does it mean? I don't know for sure, but I can take a wild guess. My mind and body is used to eating food I make myself. I trust myself. I like knowing what goes into my food's preparation. As the lady prepared my food, she was taking to another customer about how someone named Laquanda got arrested again. Okay, who the FUCK is Laquanda and what does she have to do with my food?! More importantly, what motivation does Laquanda's minimum wage friend have to prepare my food the way I would want? Making good food for strangers for $8.00 an hour? Shit, if I were her I'd rather be hanging out with Laquanda.

My mind seems to be made up. Every once in a while (once every 6 months maybe) I don't mind eating outside. But, for the most part, I only want food that I can trust--- and there's only one way to make sure it's trustworthy...

P.S.: Seeing that broad there reminds me that I start dating in about two months. If these type of women are my only options, I am truly screwed. Ugh...