The Rules of Application Fees

It's been exactly one week since Mallory moved out of Property X, and I'm still not any closer to finding a suitable tenant. With each prospective tenant that wants the place, there's either an issue with their employment, landlord verification, or simply the bad vibes I get from them. The closest thing I have to a tenant so far is a guy who works in construction, but he currently gets paid under the table. Ugh.

One of the only bright spots for this rent-out has been the $10 application fee that I started emphasizing. I charge a $10 fee to check out their application and make the calls to their employers and former landlords and etc. I really enjoy getting money for doing this, as it's truly a pain in the ass to meet with these mongrels and do the whole background check. But sometimes I feel weird taking money from people who I know I'm not going to rent to, so I've decided to come up with a few rules:

Do Not Take Money from Single Women

I currently have a ban on all single women, as it hasn't worked out in my entire 8 years as a landlord. When a single woman comes in and wants to rent the place out, I'd feel like a creep taking their money when I know I won't rent to them. One lady came in and I liked her. She'd been working at her job for 11 months and was really excited to get a place of her own. She was living in a domestic violence shelter and is waiting to get an apartment. After she told me this, I knew I couldn't take her money. I told her that there was no application fee and took her application. Even though I had to call her to say that she didn't get the place, it felt good knowing I didn't take her money.

Welfare and Assistance Animals are Fair Game

When a prospective tenant comes in with their SSI bullshit or acts ghetto, I will absolutely take their money even if I know I'm not going to rent to them. It really pisses me off that these guys make money off the taxes I pay to the county, so I see it as getting some of my money back. I see these jackasses on my way to work hanging around chillin', and it's almost as if they're sending me to work to pay for their existence. Few things make my blood boil more than this, so I see no moral issue with taking their money. A woman came in on Monday and had awful teeth. She smelled as if she'd just had sex, did the whole “I could give you the security deposit right now” line, and had the nerve to use the apartment's bathroom before she left. Even her application smelled funny. I'm supposed to see her today to get the app fee, and one can bet that I'm DEFINITELY looking forward to being paid for dealing with her nasty ass.

Because the app fee is new to me, I'll be coming up with more rules and updating this post from time to time. I'd really like to have a system down where I have rules and regulations for taking $10 to do a background check that costs me nothing. As the Rent Out Guide has proven, having a system down is everything.

P.S.: For a brief moment, I pondered staying in the apartment myself while continuing to show the place. If I get an application fee from 50 people a month, that's enough to cover the rent! But that momentary thought was dashed when I realized two things. The first is that I honestly hate talking to people, so I know I won't be able to handle seeing 50 prospective tenants a month. The second is that I really hate Property X's neighborhood, so I'd never live there.

Update 3/17/2015: It turns out that everyone has to pay application fees. If I choose to charge one and not the other, I can get into trouble for discrimination. Oh well. Guess I'm being forced to make more money! ;-)