I saw that a certain girl, Tiara, had viewed me when I had Podunk profile. So I figured she was into me when she expressed her interest in me on this one. I started messaging her on the 9th:
Me: Hey, what’s up? I’m Ahkenaten :-)
Me: How’s life treating you?
Tiara: Nice to meet you, Ahkenaten. My name’s Tiara. Life isn’t treating me too badly at all. How about you?
Me: Sweet name Tiara, and even sweeter smile :-) Life is good… especially on beautiful days like this. Only downside is having to waste a day like this at work, but I’ll take it over snow anyday.
What are you up to this weekend?
(There was no response for a couple of days. I thought perhaps my cheesy “sweeter smile” line was too stupid, so I forgot about her and talked to others. Three days later –Tuesday- she responded. The following conversation took place between 10:06am to 2:18pm)
Tiara: Sorry for not responding! My weekend was good overall. No complaints whatsoever :-) how’s your work week going thus far? I’m in my office with the door closed right now lol
Me: It’s all good… I think everyone’s weekend was good wit the way the weather has been! I don’t normally have bad weeks, so this week is turning out just as good as the last. Having an office is cool. Having an office with a door is cooler. Having an office with a door you can close to make time for yourself is just plain sexy :-)
What kind of therapist are you?
Tiara: Hahah, touché to all of the above. I’m a couple and family therapist
Me: That’s what’s up! So what do you do when you’re not saving relationships and hiding away in your office? :-) Sounds like you’ve got a full plate when it comes to work
Tiara: Lol, I’m usually with friends, taking trips, in barnes and nobles buried in a book, listening to music, going to concertswatching a movie, or playing video games lol. How about yourself?
Tiara: I see you’re in real estate
Me: Yeah… I work menial jobs like security and use the money to fund real estate and stock investing. I pretty much do the same stuff except concerts. I usually never had the time to go to them because of work, but I’m starting to make time for important stuff now… Like dating for one ;-)
Tiara: Gotcha, gotcha. Well here’s to success! And hopefully you will find the right woman to invest your time and energy into
Me: Could be looking at her right now :-)
Tiara: Lol, you’re right, you definitely could be ;-)
Me: I should be anyway… not sure what else a guy could want that you don’t already have :-)
Me: I work in the downtown area so I’m usually free for breakfast and lunch… maybe you can put an “in session” sign on your office door and sneak out for a quick get together one of these days
Tiara: Lol, I suppose I can’t argue too much there :-p what’s on your agenda for today?
Tiara: Lol, I always have have the lunch hour of 12-1 free. I work at Smalltown College.
Me: Not much… I have a meeting with a contractor at a property, then home for a quick nap. You?
Tiara: Just working & nothing else afterwards I don’t think
Me: Hmm… I’d love to take you out tonight for dinner then… what do you think?
Tiara (after an hour): I would be open to that :-)
Me: That’s great! Would you like me to pick you up or just meet up at a place?
Tiara: I can just meet you so that you don’t have to do all of that
Me: Okay, For the record it’s never a problem for me to be the squire, the gentleman. Comes naturally, especially when it’s someone that’s worth it… :-)
I’m thinking the [FANCY MEXICAN PLACE] in the mall… at 7:00…
Tiara: Absolutely noted :-) and that sounds good perfect to me then :-)
Me: Sweet! Making a regular Tuesday turn into something that can be so much more… you’re definitely talented :-) I’ll see you there and here’s my number just in case… 12345678
Tiara: Got it :-)
And that was that. I gave Nino the username and password to my dating accounts so he could shadow me as I talked to women. I wanted him to remind me of the stuff I used to say when I was helping him out. As I messaged Tiara, I also asked Nino to give his thoughts on the conversation.
Me: How am I doing with this one?
Nino: Tone down the “saved by the bell”
Me: What do you mean???!!
Nino: “in session” and sneak out. Wtf is that?
Nino: Be direct and not nerdy
Nino: Don’t be Zach Morris, don’t be screech
Nino: Go for slater
Nino: He’s the most successful one for a reason.
And he was right. I was a being too goofy for a woman like this, so I toned it down and the flow was much better. Overall I did a decent job, and I felt that Tiara was it. Her looks are a solid 7, but she was an 8 for the following reasons:
I mean, I wasn’t kidding when I told her that no one could ask for more. So I decided to step up my game. I bought jeans and a T-shirt instead of wearing my regular white shirt and black pants from the bank job. I shaved my face again. I showered again and wore clean clothes. Just before I left I consulted this blog one last time, and I saw this comment on the Karissa post:
“With Karissa, you repeatedly pointed out how busy you are and came off as unavailable—even when she asked what you do for fun. I believe this could turn off the kind of woman you want and only attract those who feel they can’t do better.”
And she was 100% correct. Talking about my lack of free time doesn’t make me more appealing, so I need to shut up about it. So, I had the advice from here. I had the advice from Nino. I had the jeans and T-shirt. I had my swagger. I had my undefeated streak (of being able to have sex with every woman that goes out with me) on the line and I felt it was gonna get extended. The moment I see her and she sees me, it’s in the bag.
I got there at 6:55pm but she hadn’t arrived yet. 6:56. 57. 58. 59. I was getting very nervous, as the thought of being stood up crossed my mind for the first time ever. Me?? Stood up?? That doesn’t even make sense, but it’s almost 7! 7pm hit and still no Tiara, so I had to make a choice. Do I stay and wait for her and risk being stood up for sure? Or do I leave and leave open the possibility that she was running late? So, at 7:01pm, I got the hell out of there. Had I stayed and she didn’t show up, my ego would have taken a massive hit. I was already having an extremely shitty day with properties and stocks and family drama. Being stood up would have put me over the edge and I had to protect myself.
When I got home I blocked her from contacting me and made sure my phone only accepted saved contacts. I don’t know what happened and I didn’t want to know. Tiara could have called or texted that she was running late. I also realized that she never gave me her number, so I couldn’t text her anyway. I screwed up. I didn’t get her number, and I didn’t Skype her before the date like I said I would. I was just so happy to find something human in Smalltown that I forgot all my rules and just went for it. This is a recurring problem that I have in stocks and real estate as well. Like when I go through a bunch of showings with bad prospective tenants. If one comes along that is good, I have the habit of throwing out the rule book and just getting the tenant. Or when I made a bunch of bad trades and I see something that looks too good to be true. I’ll forget the lessons I learned and just make the trade, hoping that it’ll make up for all the bad losses. Same stuff with Tiara. The thought of getting a quality broad in this town was so great that I didn’t do what I was supposed to to make sure the date actually happened. My fault indeed.
Tiara would have been a magnificent catch, but the risk of being stood up was just too much. I have to remember who I am, and set my limits accordingly. I also need to stick to my rules so that I can reduce the chances of this ever happening again. The search continues…
Me: Hey, what’s up? I’m Ahkenaten :-)
Me: How’s life treating you?
Tiara: Nice to meet you, Ahkenaten. My name’s Tiara. Life isn’t treating me too badly at all. How about you?
Me: Sweet name Tiara, and even sweeter smile :-) Life is good… especially on beautiful days like this. Only downside is having to waste a day like this at work, but I’ll take it over snow anyday.
What are you up to this weekend?
(There was no response for a couple of days. I thought perhaps my cheesy “sweeter smile” line was too stupid, so I forgot about her and talked to others. Three days later –Tuesday- she responded. The following conversation took place between 10:06am to 2:18pm)
Tiara: Sorry for not responding! My weekend was good overall. No complaints whatsoever :-) how’s your work week going thus far? I’m in my office with the door closed right now lol
Me: It’s all good… I think everyone’s weekend was good wit the way the weather has been! I don’t normally have bad weeks, so this week is turning out just as good as the last. Having an office is cool. Having an office with a door is cooler. Having an office with a door you can close to make time for yourself is just plain sexy :-)
What kind of therapist are you?
Tiara: Hahah, touché to all of the above. I’m a couple and family therapist
Me: That’s what’s up! So what do you do when you’re not saving relationships and hiding away in your office? :-) Sounds like you’ve got a full plate when it comes to work
Tiara: Lol, I’m usually with friends, taking trips, in barnes and nobles buried in a book, listening to music, going to concertswatching a movie, or playing video games lol. How about yourself?
Tiara: I see you’re in real estate
Me: Yeah… I work menial jobs like security and use the money to fund real estate and stock investing. I pretty much do the same stuff except concerts. I usually never had the time to go to them because of work, but I’m starting to make time for important stuff now… Like dating for one ;-)
Tiara: Gotcha, gotcha. Well here’s to success! And hopefully you will find the right woman to invest your time and energy into
Me: Could be looking at her right now :-)
Tiara: Lol, you’re right, you definitely could be ;-)
Me: I should be anyway… not sure what else a guy could want that you don’t already have :-)
Me: I work in the downtown area so I’m usually free for breakfast and lunch… maybe you can put an “in session” sign on your office door and sneak out for a quick get together one of these days
Tiara: Lol, I suppose I can’t argue too much there :-p what’s on your agenda for today?
Tiara: Lol, I always have have the lunch hour of 12-1 free. I work at Smalltown College.
Me: Not much… I have a meeting with a contractor at a property, then home for a quick nap. You?
Tiara: Just working & nothing else afterwards I don’t think
Me: Hmm… I’d love to take you out tonight for dinner then… what do you think?
Tiara (after an hour): I would be open to that :-)
Me: That’s great! Would you like me to pick you up or just meet up at a place?
Tiara: I can just meet you so that you don’t have to do all of that
Me: Okay, For the record it’s never a problem for me to be the squire, the gentleman. Comes naturally, especially when it’s someone that’s worth it… :-)
I’m thinking the [FANCY MEXICAN PLACE] in the mall… at 7:00…
Tiara: Absolutely noted :-) and that sounds good perfect to me then :-)
Me: Sweet! Making a regular Tuesday turn into something that can be so much more… you’re definitely talented :-) I’ll see you there and here’s my number just in case… 12345678
Tiara: Got it :-)
And that was that. I gave Nino the username and password to my dating accounts so he could shadow me as I talked to women. I wanted him to remind me of the stuff I used to say when I was helping him out. As I messaged Tiara, I also asked Nino to give his thoughts on the conversation.
Me: How am I doing with this one?
Nino: Tone down the “saved by the bell”
Me: What do you mean???!!
Nino: “in session” and sneak out. Wtf is that?
Nino: Be direct and not nerdy
Nino: Don’t be Zach Morris, don’t be screech
Nino: Go for slater
Nino: He’s the most successful one for a reason.
And he was right. I was a being too goofy for a woman like this, so I toned it down and the flow was much better. Overall I did a decent job, and I felt that Tiara was it. Her looks are a solid 7, but she was an 8 for the following reasons:
- She’s black
- She’s black and educated
- She’s black and educated and likes to play video games
- She’s black and educated and likes to play video games and lives in Smalltown with a great job
I mean, I wasn’t kidding when I told her that no one could ask for more. So I decided to step up my game. I bought jeans and a T-shirt instead of wearing my regular white shirt and black pants from the bank job. I shaved my face again. I showered again and wore clean clothes. Just before I left I consulted this blog one last time, and I saw this comment on the Karissa post:
“With Karissa, you repeatedly pointed out how busy you are and came off as unavailable—even when she asked what you do for fun. I believe this could turn off the kind of woman you want and only attract those who feel they can’t do better.”
And she was 100% correct. Talking about my lack of free time doesn’t make me more appealing, so I need to shut up about it. So, I had the advice from here. I had the advice from Nino. I had the jeans and T-shirt. I had my swagger. I had my undefeated streak (of being able to have sex with every woman that goes out with me) on the line and I felt it was gonna get extended. The moment I see her and she sees me, it’s in the bag.
I got there at 6:55pm but she hadn’t arrived yet. 6:56. 57. 58. 59. I was getting very nervous, as the thought of being stood up crossed my mind for the first time ever. Me?? Stood up?? That doesn’t even make sense, but it’s almost 7! 7pm hit and still no Tiara, so I had to make a choice. Do I stay and wait for her and risk being stood up for sure? Or do I leave and leave open the possibility that she was running late? So, at 7:01pm, I got the hell out of there. Had I stayed and she didn’t show up, my ego would have taken a massive hit. I was already having an extremely shitty day with properties and stocks and family drama. Being stood up would have put me over the edge and I had to protect myself.
When I got home I blocked her from contacting me and made sure my phone only accepted saved contacts. I don’t know what happened and I didn’t want to know. Tiara could have called or texted that she was running late. I also realized that she never gave me her number, so I couldn’t text her anyway. I screwed up. I didn’t get her number, and I didn’t Skype her before the date like I said I would. I was just so happy to find something human in Smalltown that I forgot all my rules and just went for it. This is a recurring problem that I have in stocks and real estate as well. Like when I go through a bunch of showings with bad prospective tenants. If one comes along that is good, I have the habit of throwing out the rule book and just getting the tenant. Or when I made a bunch of bad trades and I see something that looks too good to be true. I’ll forget the lessons I learned and just make the trade, hoping that it’ll make up for all the bad losses. Same stuff with Tiara. The thought of getting a quality broad in this town was so great that I didn’t do what I was supposed to to make sure the date actually happened. My fault indeed.
Tiara would have been a magnificent catch, but the risk of being stood up was just too much. I have to remember who I am, and set my limits accordingly. I also need to stick to my rules so that I can reduce the chances of this ever happening again. The search continues…
You are an asshole. She was probably just running a few minutes late, and you ended up standing her up.
ReplyDeleteThere are numerous reasons why she might not have called:
* Driving and texting/calling is illegal in most states.
* Her phone battery might have died.
* You gave her your number but that doesn't mean it was saved in her phone yet (I certainly don't save a number until I've met someone and know I want to call them again).
* You chose the mall, she could have had difficulty parking.
* Her watch or car clock could have been slow.
* She could have been on an emergency call (or raving to her best friend about the great guy she was on her way to meet).
* She was going to be there so soon it didn't make sense to call.
* And the list goes on.
Based on your communication, she was into you. You don't deserve to get laid if a near-match to what you're looking for isn't worth waiting or giving the benefit of the doubt to.
And, for the record, everyone who dates eventually gets stood up. I have even been stood up. You may have avoided it this time (although I believe you walked out on a good woman who showed up late), but it will happen to you someday. And I hope you remember that you been on the other end.
http://www.quora.com/Why-do-women-seem-to-run-late-more-often-than-men
This comment has been removed by the author.
DeleteUgh! I wrote two responses to this comment, but they weren’t very well thought out. Next time I’ll wait a certain amount of time before responding to a comment. They should be just as thought out as my posts.
DeleteAnyone reading this blog can see that I’m an asshole, so unfortunately that’s not up for debate. The question is whether or not I’m an asshole in this situation, and I’m not. After reading this post again, I realize that it wouldn’t have mattered if this date happened on a day like August 11th. I would have done the exact same thing today. The only fact I know for sure is that she didn’t show at 7pm and didn’t call or text me. And for all the possibilities that could have explained it, I wasn’t willing to give a stranger who at that point was nothing more than words on a screen, the benefit of the doubt.
In relationships, I’ll have to compromise. I know this and I’m willing to do it. My second girlfriend Christine was notoriously late, but she let me know this beforehand and always called to let me know she was on her way. And she was a real person who I’d seen before. With online dating, I’ll never know who’s typing those words until I see her in person. Who knows who Tiara really was or how she really looked? What if “she” was a bunch of guys in the mall having a good laugh? I’m only willing to go so far on a first date because I have no idea who this person is. Sure, anyone can be late. Life happens. But that’s why the world has courtesy. And the bottom line is that Tiara wasn’t willing to give me the courtesy of a phone call or a simple text, so I wasn’t willing to give her any more of my time.
It’s like a job interview. I know that I might show up late on certain occasions once I get the job, but to show up late for the INTERVIEW?! Nah, in this situation I’m not in the wrong. If showing up on time for the first date is asking too much or is considered “high standards”, then I should probably get out of this venture and stick to jerking off.