With mating season in full effect, I’ve been extremely lazy in getting my online dating profile up and running. It’s tough because, other than sex, I didn’t see any reason to do this whole relationship thing. I mean seriously, why bother? Do it for companionship? No! I’ve never needed that. Do it for entertainment? Hell no! Independent movies. BBC’s Earth. Battlestar Galactica. Max Landis videos. Youtube rap battles. Geeking out when Jimmy Fallon reunited the Saved by the Bell cast. 2015 is only half over and I’ve been more than entertained.
So if I’m not doing it for those reasons and it’s just for the sex, then is it really worth it? Is it worth going through the BS of relationships if it only satisfies one of my needs? Right now my answer would be no. I have to get more out of a relationship to get me interested in dating again. And I think I found such a reason, and it's almost as important. In order to explain this clearly, I’m combining an unpublished post that was to be written about schadenfreude into this one.
Here’s a quick look at some of the people in my daily life:
Brooklyn Mike
Brooklyn Mike has been my best friend for over 20 years. It’s easy to be friends with him because he never changes. That’s a very good thing for our friendship, but maybe not for Mike himself. Brooklyn Mike is 34 years old. He’s never had sex. He’s gone through the Army and several education programs that went nowhere, leaving him with student loan debt and no career. And he’s lived at home all his life. After the passing of his mom last year, he’s been forced out of his routine. The family home is in danger of foreclosure, so his older brother has ordered that everyone has to get outta there so he can renovate the place and rent it out to college students (the property is a potential goldmine, as it’s only two blocks away from Brooklyn College). Since his aunt is having trouble finding an affordable place to buy, she’s decided to rent a 3 bedroom for the family. This will leave Mike to live with his older brother for a while. I usually visit him at their family home whenever I’m in Brooklyn and it’s usually depressing. He had piss jars under his computer at one point, and his bed is infested with bed bugs. Things aren’t going well for Brooklyn Mike.
Nino
I started talking with Nino again after I realized that he still has a very important use. When I permanently took Tuesdays off the shipping depot for medical reasons, I listed Nino as my “doctor”. So when I take Fridays off next year, it would be an easier and more believable narrative if Nino is the same doctor. So we started talking again and things are going even worse for him. Nino is officially homeless after getting kicked out by his mom. They confronted each other over his new girlfriend and I think he pushed her to the floor or something. So now he and his girlfriend are living out of his car as they await the approval of a mortgage for a co-op apartment. I gave him my Subway card which gives him free food for the foreseeable future (3,000 points), and he’s getting a second job so that he can afford to pay for a room for rent until then. When I went to Brooklyn yesterday I met up with him, and he just looked miserable. Things aren’t going well for Nino.
Konner
Konner is my former co-worker, an Irish guy who is just as dumb as I am. He’s been dating a woman for the last year and a half. This woman has a kid with another guy... one who doesn’t pay child support and can’t hold a stable job. He once received a $60,000 settlement for a car accident and gave nothing to his daughter, spending it on a brand new pick-up truck that got repossessed only a few months after purchase. I mentioned to Konner on several occasions that he probably shouldn’t stay in the relationship too much longer, as the woman still has feelings for her ex and the daughter issue can only make things worse. Did he listen?
This unfortunate soul is now born into the world and, more importantly, into this screwed up situation. Konner is now locked in with this worthless woman and her wiles for the rest of his life, and he complained to me about how screwed up things have been ever since. Things aren’t going well for Konner.
Usually I take some pleasure in another’s suffering, but this is a bit much. While I could care less about Konner’s situation, I would like to see Brooklyn Mike and Nino succeed. The removal in some way of the mothers in their lives forced them to grow up, so I think they’re better for it and will change for the better. But right now they’re pretty miserable. So, what does that have to do with my dating situation?
The saying goes that “you are the company that you keep”. Nino and Brooklyn Mike are seriously down on their luck, and their mood is negatively affecting me. I don't feel as good as I usually do with their misery bringing me down. I didn't realize this until I actually stepped back and looked at the situation yesterday. The dating thing is appealing because I have a chance to get with a broad who is a distraction from all this. I can date a moderately successful woman who has her stuff together, and that should cancel out the bad vibes I get from Nino and Brooklyn Mike. And being able to have steady sex kills two birds with one stone. A shallow reason this may be, but not much more can ever be expected from a guy like me.
P.S.: I’ve already considered ending my friendships with both of them, but that seems unnecessary at this time. Brooklyn Mike has a decent job making $15 an hour, plus he gets money from his mom’s pension. With prudent saving, he should be in his own apartment in 2016. Nino still has his $50,000 a year insurance job, and should get into the co-op apartment by September. In fact, a homeless Nino still makes more money than me with my two jobs and rental income. If there’s anyone who should be miserable, it should be me.
So if I’m not doing it for those reasons and it’s just for the sex, then is it really worth it? Is it worth going through the BS of relationships if it only satisfies one of my needs? Right now my answer would be no. I have to get more out of a relationship to get me interested in dating again. And I think I found such a reason, and it's almost as important. In order to explain this clearly, I’m combining an unpublished post that was to be written about schadenfreude into this one.
Here’s a quick look at some of the people in my daily life:
Brooklyn Mike
Brooklyn Mike has been my best friend for over 20 years. It’s easy to be friends with him because he never changes. That’s a very good thing for our friendship, but maybe not for Mike himself. Brooklyn Mike is 34 years old. He’s never had sex. He’s gone through the Army and several education programs that went nowhere, leaving him with student loan debt and no career. And he’s lived at home all his life. After the passing of his mom last year, he’s been forced out of his routine. The family home is in danger of foreclosure, so his older brother has ordered that everyone has to get outta there so he can renovate the place and rent it out to college students (the property is a potential goldmine, as it’s only two blocks away from Brooklyn College). Since his aunt is having trouble finding an affordable place to buy, she’s decided to rent a 3 bedroom for the family. This will leave Mike to live with his older brother for a while. I usually visit him at their family home whenever I’m in Brooklyn and it’s usually depressing. He had piss jars under his computer at one point, and his bed is infested with bed bugs. Things aren’t going well for Brooklyn Mike.
Nino
I started talking with Nino again after I realized that he still has a very important use. When I permanently took Tuesdays off the shipping depot for medical reasons, I listed Nino as my “doctor”. So when I take Fridays off next year, it would be an easier and more believable narrative if Nino is the same doctor. So we started talking again and things are going even worse for him. Nino is officially homeless after getting kicked out by his mom. They confronted each other over his new girlfriend and I think he pushed her to the floor or something. So now he and his girlfriend are living out of his car as they await the approval of a mortgage for a co-op apartment. I gave him my Subway card which gives him free food for the foreseeable future (3,000 points), and he’s getting a second job so that he can afford to pay for a room for rent until then. When I went to Brooklyn yesterday I met up with him, and he just looked miserable. Things aren’t going well for Nino.
Konner
Konner is my former co-worker, an Irish guy who is just as dumb as I am. He’s been dating a woman for the last year and a half. This woman has a kid with another guy... one who doesn’t pay child support and can’t hold a stable job. He once received a $60,000 settlement for a car accident and gave nothing to his daughter, spending it on a brand new pick-up truck that got repossessed only a few months after purchase. I mentioned to Konner on several occasions that he probably shouldn’t stay in the relationship too much longer, as the woman still has feelings for her ex and the daughter issue can only make things worse. Did he listen?
 |
| The product of two imbeciles who should have known better. Poor kid. |
This unfortunate soul is now born into the world and, more importantly, into this screwed up situation. Konner is now locked in with this worthless woman and her wiles for the rest of his life, and he complained to me about how screwed up things have been ever since. Things aren’t going well for Konner.
Usually I take some pleasure in another’s suffering, but this is a bit much. While I could care less about Konner’s situation, I would like to see Brooklyn Mike and Nino succeed. The removal in some way of the mothers in their lives forced them to grow up, so I think they’re better for it and will change for the better. But right now they’re pretty miserable. So, what does that have to do with my dating situation?
The saying goes that “you are the company that you keep”. Nino and Brooklyn Mike are seriously down on their luck, and their mood is negatively affecting me. I don't feel as good as I usually do with their misery bringing me down. I didn't realize this until I actually stepped back and looked at the situation yesterday. The dating thing is appealing because I have a chance to get with a broad who is a distraction from all this. I can date a moderately successful woman who has her stuff together, and that should cancel out the bad vibes I get from Nino and Brooklyn Mike. And being able to have steady sex kills two birds with one stone. A shallow reason this may be, but not much more can ever be expected from a guy like me.
P.S.: I’ve already considered ending my friendships with both of them, but that seems unnecessary at this time. Brooklyn Mike has a decent job making $15 an hour, plus he gets money from his mom’s pension. With prudent saving, he should be in his own apartment in 2016. Nino still has his $50,000 a year insurance job, and should get into the co-op apartment by September. In fact, a homeless Nino still makes more money than me with my two jobs and rental income. If there’s anyone who should be miserable, it should be me.
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