The Sad Return of Outside Food

Ever since 2015 started, I’ve been in a bit of a funk. For some reason, I’ve gone back to my old way of eating outside food instead of cooking it myself. My size 36 pants that have fit me comfortably is now starting to get tight. To give an idea on the kinds of foods I’ve eaten:

Big piece of Red Velvet cake. Anything with red velvet tempts me

My struggles with M&Ms persist, and this was the biggest size I could find. I felt so gross after eating this, yet I still went out and bought more

The bank job's diner sells delicious French toast, which is only $1 per slice on Tuesdays. This Tuesday morning, I spent $17.

I tried fooling myself into believing that, because I got this from an Halal pizza shop, it's better for me. And yet there I was the next day, taking a tough dump as if I got it from Italians.

This was a turkey sandwich with lettuce, tomatoes, and mayo. On the surface it seems like a healthy choice. But I had a 3 foot long version of this from the local supermarket and ate it in one sitting. NOT healthy.

This week was the worst. I just couldn’t stop myself from ordering pizza, wings, cake, sandwiches… all of this as my store-bought food sits in the refrigerator and wastes away. I tried stopping this by using the people around me. I told Nino and Brooklyn Mike that I would owe them whatever I paid for outside food. The theory was that, if I see that I costs me twice as much to get the same foods, I won't do it. Three weeks later, I owe Nino $56 and Brooklyn Mike $20. Ugh! It was a dumb move on my part, because I've already learned that I can't change bad habits with punishments and consequences. That has never been successful in the long term with me. What works is to see why I do what I do, and then change the environment/circumstances that foster such actions. In this particular situation, I see three reasons why the outside food binging rages on:

Winter

They call it “winter weight”, when people eat more as the temperature drops. For me it’s a little different. Cold weather makes me feel lazy, so I not only want to eat more, but I also don’t feel like cooking.

Lack of Variety

Turkey Burgers. Steak wraps. Fried brown rice and chicken. Fried brown rice and salmon. Milk and cereal These are about the only foods I’ve been buying ever since I built the basement apartment. It’s nice, but going out to buy foods is a clear indication that I need more variety. I need to find substitutes for my pizza cravings and sweet snacks that aren’t too unhealthy.

A good example of the kinds of snack I need to stop myself from getting those M&Ms and cakes. Not too healthy, but not too unhealthy. And the bag is big enough to let me know that I probably won't be able to finish it in one sitting. Now I just need the sweet version of this

Organization
Ever since the bank job’s security wand was fixed, I’ve struggled to find time to eat breakfast in the morning. Sometimes I’d skip breakfast, and then go into work hungry. That leaves the door open to order breakfast from the building’s diner, and that opens the door to buy more outside food. Stabilizing my morning rituals is paramount, as I’m learning that breakfast truly is the most important meal of the day. I feel that it sets the culinary tone for the remainder of the day.

I started fixing my food issues today. I already had two bowls of Cheerios this morning, and plan to have a few turkey burgers before heading out to the shipping depot at 3:30pm. This weekend I’ll eat my usual rice and chicken, and that should be a good start going into next week. I knew it was gonna take time for me to get used to eating food in this manner. And it’s not easy to do with my constantly changing schedule, my huge appetite, and… well… life. But if it was easy, everyone could do it.