Thursday, February 26, 2015

The Untalented Mr. Kor



While reviewing my dating history, I found a stat that was pretty neat. Any woman that has ever agreed to go out on a date with me has offered me sex at some point. Every single one. All I have to do is get them to go out with me, and it’s a wrap. While I enjoy this wonderful statistic, there should probably be an asterisk next to it. Because… the person they meet/have a relationship with/fall in love with isn’t real.

I’ve talked a lot about how I’m not normal and I can separate my feelings from any situation. The real me, the actual person who writes this blog, cannot be in a real relationship because I don’t think I’ll have any real feelings for her. To give an excellent example, let me bring up something that happened this past Tuesday:

Nino and I have been close for over 11 years. He and Brooklyn Mike are the only two people I consider as friends. On weekday mornings, Nino and I routinely call each other and bullshit as he drives to work. It’s fun, and a good way to start a day. We've been doing this routine for about 4 years now. On Tuesday morning I called him and he said, “I’m not in the mood right now. Fuck you!” And then he hung up the phone. Two minutes later he texted me:

“I was in a bad mood but now I’m in a less bad mood. I’m sorry for hanging up on you.”

But by then it was too late. I had already blocked and erased his number, blocked his email and ended any Android games we were playing. I erased all our email correspondences and any conversations/pics that I have of/with him. It’s a guarantee that we won’t speak again. And I wasn’t even mad. I just knew that something happened that I didn't like, so a decision was made for me and clicked in my head. It took me a little over a minute to get rid of 11 years of Nino and settle into my life without him, and that was that.

The real me can’t do this in a relationship. Relationships are all about compromise and understanding. If I want stable sex for the foreseeable future, I can’t just get rid of a girlfriend when she makes a small mistake. People err, and I have to forgive in order to make the relationship stronger. A stronger relationship gives me the security in knowing that my stream of sex can survive rough patches. The person I am can’t do that. The second I see that someone has done something I don’t like and they have no real use, they’re eliminated. I NEED good handymen. I NEED a bank to lend me money at rates I can afford. I NEED a place to buy healthy foods like Trader Joes. But I don’t need friends or family. So if I choose to have them in my life, they can’t do certain things that will trigger the aforementioned response. Because, in the end, I don’t have any real feelings for anyone.

Let’s go back to the dating aspect. When on a date, I am whatever she is looking for. I adapt whatever language I use to fit the kind of guy she wants. For the most part, I don’t need to do much adaptation. I’m good looking, confident, moderately successful, and have a clear plan for greater success. In the dating world, I’m considered the “complete package”. And that's despite being black! So when a woman goes on a date with me, all she needs to see is that I’m the real deal. I have to be confident without being egotistical. Good looking, but unwilling to say so. Successful, but not “all about the money”. Cultured, but without my nose in the air. Honest, but obviously not too honest. This is a good example of the kind of person I create when going out on dates, with a few tweaks here and there to fit her specific needs.

It’s important to note that I'm not very proud of the person I am. It's also important to note that I don’t do this to deceive a woman. I’m actually very honest in a relationship. But I can’t be the broken person that I am and expect a relationship to NOT turn into a fuck buddy situation. Maybe one day I’ll figure out how to be… normal again if I ever was (I’m not looking forward to the day those floodgates open), but that won’t happen anytime soon. The real me is too screwed up to have a normal relationship, and I don’t think that’ll change anytime soon. The fake me, however, is the right guy for the job, and he’s ready to go.

No comments:

Post a Comment