I saw that I woman named Erica wanted to meet me. She was drop dead gorgeous, like NYC quality gorgeous, so I really wanted to bring my A game. Since I didn’t know where my "A" game was, I just went in and hoped for the best.
Me: Hey what’s up? I’m Ahkenaten :-) Nice tagline
Erica: Haha almost as good as the one on your first pic. [We both made references to dudes who post shirtless pics] Not too much heading home for the night, you? Erica :-)
Me: Hey Erica! Just had a little birthday dinner... Everything about you from your pic to your profile makes me smile... I didn't think there were women like you around anymore :-) A beauty, brains, and healthy living combo... you're deadly! What do you do when you're not bartending or taking grad courses? Seems like you have a full plate
Erica: Not much right now haha. I work out and see friends as much as possible. How about you?
Me: I never used to make time for myself until this year. I worked non stop for years, but now I'm starting to see there are other things to do, you know?
So I really won't know what I'm gonna do with this free time, but definitely dating is one of them. Like taking the time out to have a quick "get to know you" coffee or brunch with you would be an exceptional use of my free time :-) But I've found some things to do. I used to work out and did this thing called DDP Yoga. And I'm trying to get into learning different languages for when I start traveling.
Erica: Haha, I'm sure it would be of mine as well! That's great though. Yeah I am getting better at that as well, took a few weekend trips this summer which I usually skip to stay home and work so I'm feeling good about that
Me: You should. I don't go to clubs anymore but I would always remember the bartenders were usually the best looking women in the place. I see they still have standards :-) How do you like it?
Erica: Haha, well that is very sweet, thank you. I do like it, it's fun most nights haha. Do you enjoy what you do?
Me: Honestly? Not really. I like the fact that my jobs keep me in shape, but they're just menial jobs, you know? A means to an end. When I retire from them in a couple years, then I'll feel very good! Overall I'm a pretty easy going person, and it takes a whole lot to bring my mood down. I get the feeling you're the same way
[The next day…]
Erica: That's a good way to be. Idk about that but I certainly try to be haha. I guess I'm not sure what an investor does bc pictures you at a desk haha
Me: Oh, that's just a building I have to check once a hour. I do menial jobs like security, then use the paychecks to buy properties and rent them out. I also use the money for stock trading. The goal is to have the investments pay for themselves in about 3 years and then I can retire like the rest of my family.
Erica: Ah very nice, good for you
Me: What would you think about getting together sometime on Thursday... for a quick lunch or long dinner? :-)
Erica: I'm working literally all of Thursday, from 10:30am to 3am next day then leaving for NYC later Friday am
Me: Wow... you're busier than me. Didn't think that was possible!
[The next day…]
Erica: Haha, end of the week is the roughest for me
[Three days later…]
Me: I hope your week wasn't as busy as mine, Erica! We all need some downtime :-)
[The next day…]
Erica: Haha we do, I'm in NYC for vacation though so it's been good. How was yours besides busy?
Me: Not too bad... I'll take all the work I have to do as long as I get to eat good foods! Got to spend some time with friends and ready for another week in the grind. Glad to see you're on vacation... where abouts are you in NYC? I lived there all my life in Brooklyn until I came to Smalltown. I go there once a month to visit family. Have a good time there, and save some of that good cheer for when you come back... A happy date is better than a tired one :-)
This was the last message.
So my problems in the conversation were clear from the start. My compliments were way too much and too soon, reverting to fat girl methods. That's really sad because had I stayed up on my game, I could have gone out with this broad. She was sexy and had the type of ambition I really like. But I was so focused on getting her out on the date that I didn't put in the work required to make her want to go on a date. Some girls don't require that much conversation. Erica's not one of them. I should have found a topic she liked to talk about and expound on it. Make up some shit about how I got my bartending license a long time ago but never used it. Ask her where she was heading home from after she mentioned it. Stop creating conversation and work with what she gives me. Had I found at least two topics to talk about with her, I could have gotten somewhere with this one.
The other lesson I can take from this is to not automatically assume that we're gonna go out on a date. That was the conversation killer. If I could do this again, I would definitely ask more relationship questions like what we're looking for on the dating website and less about my busy life and long hours. Remember that line she gave at the end, "How was yours (day) besides busy?" She was practically sounding the alarm letting me know that the only impression she has of me is that I'm too busy for her. Ugh, I screwed this one up bad, as she was definitely an 8.
Me: Hey what’s up? I’m Ahkenaten :-) Nice tagline
Erica: Haha almost as good as the one on your first pic. [We both made references to dudes who post shirtless pics] Not too much heading home for the night, you? Erica :-)
Me: Hey Erica! Just had a little birthday dinner... Everything about you from your pic to your profile makes me smile... I didn't think there were women like you around anymore :-) A beauty, brains, and healthy living combo... you're deadly! What do you do when you're not bartending or taking grad courses? Seems like you have a full plate
Erica: Not much right now haha. I work out and see friends as much as possible. How about you?
Me: I never used to make time for myself until this year. I worked non stop for years, but now I'm starting to see there are other things to do, you know?
So I really won't know what I'm gonna do with this free time, but definitely dating is one of them. Like taking the time out to have a quick "get to know you" coffee or brunch with you would be an exceptional use of my free time :-) But I've found some things to do. I used to work out and did this thing called DDP Yoga. And I'm trying to get into learning different languages for when I start traveling.
Erica: Haha, I'm sure it would be of mine as well! That's great though. Yeah I am getting better at that as well, took a few weekend trips this summer which I usually skip to stay home and work so I'm feeling good about that
Me: You should. I don't go to clubs anymore but I would always remember the bartenders were usually the best looking women in the place. I see they still have standards :-) How do you like it?
Erica: Haha, well that is very sweet, thank you. I do like it, it's fun most nights haha. Do you enjoy what you do?
Me: Honestly? Not really. I like the fact that my jobs keep me in shape, but they're just menial jobs, you know? A means to an end. When I retire from them in a couple years, then I'll feel very good! Overall I'm a pretty easy going person, and it takes a whole lot to bring my mood down. I get the feeling you're the same way
[The next day…]
Erica: That's a good way to be. Idk about that but I certainly try to be haha. I guess I'm not sure what an investor does bc pictures you at a desk haha
Me: Oh, that's just a building I have to check once a hour. I do menial jobs like security, then use the paychecks to buy properties and rent them out. I also use the money for stock trading. The goal is to have the investments pay for themselves in about 3 years and then I can retire like the rest of my family.
Erica: Ah very nice, good for you
Me: What would you think about getting together sometime on Thursday... for a quick lunch or long dinner? :-)
Erica: I'm working literally all of Thursday, from 10:30am to 3am next day then leaving for NYC later Friday am
Me: Wow... you're busier than me. Didn't think that was possible!
[The next day…]
Erica: Haha, end of the week is the roughest for me
[Three days later…]
Me: I hope your week wasn't as busy as mine, Erica! We all need some downtime :-)
[The next day…]
Erica: Haha we do, I'm in NYC for vacation though so it's been good. How was yours besides busy?
Me: Not too bad... I'll take all the work I have to do as long as I get to eat good foods! Got to spend some time with friends and ready for another week in the grind. Glad to see you're on vacation... where abouts are you in NYC? I lived there all my life in Brooklyn until I came to Smalltown. I go there once a month to visit family. Have a good time there, and save some of that good cheer for when you come back... A happy date is better than a tired one :-)
This was the last message.
So my problems in the conversation were clear from the start. My compliments were way too much and too soon, reverting to fat girl methods. That's really sad because had I stayed up on my game, I could have gone out with this broad. She was sexy and had the type of ambition I really like. But I was so focused on getting her out on the date that I didn't put in the work required to make her want to go on a date. Some girls don't require that much conversation. Erica's not one of them. I should have found a topic she liked to talk about and expound on it. Make up some shit about how I got my bartending license a long time ago but never used it. Ask her where she was heading home from after she mentioned it. Stop creating conversation and work with what she gives me. Had I found at least two topics to talk about with her, I could have gotten somewhere with this one.
The other lesson I can take from this is to not automatically assume that we're gonna go out on a date. That was the conversation killer. If I could do this again, I would definitely ask more relationship questions like what we're looking for on the dating website and less about my busy life and long hours. Remember that line she gave at the end, "How was yours (day) besides busy?" She was practically sounding the alarm letting me know that the only impression she has of me is that I'm too busy for her. Ugh, I screwed this one up bad, as she was definitely an 8.
No comments:
Post a Comment