I really like writing posts when it's raining, and Upstate NY is getting hit with rain all day today and tomorrow. I should take this opportunity to write a good long post that'll help me see recent events clearer.
So, Sam beat me to paycheck retirement. I had some time to think about what I could learn from that whole contest, and I think I’ve figured it out. It all has to do with the differences between Sam and I... differences that affect our business practices.
Ego
Both Sam and I have massive egos, but they’re not the same. I have an ego that lets me know I'm great, no matter what anyone thinks. It's me first, and then everyone else is second. Sam also believes he’s great, but only if others see him that way. He… he cares about how people view him. A few weeks ago he talked about how difficult it must be for me to walk around in the bank job garage knowing that my lawyer Marvin Wassle sees me there. He seriously believed that I not only cared what Marvin Wassle thinks of me, but that I want to be successful to join some kind of rich man’s club. He only feels good about himself when he looks good in the eyes of others… a perfect example of that being that picture he sent me of the $200,000. I mean, I could see it in his eyes when he first told me about the money… he desperately wanted me to ask him how he did it (which is why I didn't ask at that time). When I didn’t ask, he decided to send that picture. No normal person sends a picture like that unless he’s trying to show off, and it really showed that he needed to send that to feel good about himself. He also likes to invite me on trips even on days he knows I have to work, just so I could say “no, I gotta work”. I found it annoying at first, but now it seems a bit sad. I’ve always enjoyed knowing that my life is defined through my eyes and not through the eyes of anyone else, especially strangers. That’s something about Sam I’ll never understand.
Family
When Sam first got his commercial property, he had to do a full renovation. He had to fully gut the insides, and then make high-end apartments while fixing up the storefronts. During that time, he had to pay $2,000 a month for the mortgage when there was no rental income coming in and he had no job. His mom, who ran a statue making business, was able to support him during that time. This is just one of the many examples of how Sam’s family helped him get through. Without their help, he wouldn’t have made it through those times. I, on the other hand, had no help. The only time I borrowed money was from my father, Alan. I was getting late on my mortgage and borrowed $650 to make the payment. 3 weeks later, I paid him back with $700. When he asked why I paid him the extra $50, I told him not to worry about it. For me, it was a reminder that borrowing money from someone costs more than what's asked for. It takes a piece of my pride, and I would’ve rather pay for my own mistakes. But I'm starting to see that sometimes it's okay to ask for help, especially from family. I always say "I want to do it on my own", but isn't that kinda stupid? Until the day comes that babies feed themselves, no one ever does life on their own.
Isolation
Sam is a people person. I’ve known that since college. The guy has always known how to make friends. He uses his friendly personality to make business connections, and that’s how he’s been able to gain knowledge that can make him money. His store allows him contacts into the Muslim community, with the potential to make a ton of money. One of his clothing store customers, for example, owns a bunch of properties in Smalltown. The guy wants to sell clothes also, so Sam started talking to him and will begin wholesaling his store’s clothing products. That’s just one of many examples. He knows what to say to the right people.
I, on the other hand, am the complete opposite. I’m not a people person. I was this way when I lived in NYC, and it got much worse when I moved to Smalltown. I’ve always been against making new friends because people have a history of being major disappointments. So I stayed isolated. The only time I ever tried to talk to people was when I was with women, trying to get laid. You know, I’ve lived in Smalltown for 8 years. The only business contact I’ve made that whose services I don't pay for is Bob Rogers, and it was he who approached me! I made contact with Damon, but I don’t consider him a business contact because he’s at or below my level of real estate knowledge. And how can I advance in real estate if I surround myself with people who are at/below my knowledge level?
Solution
As I write this post, I’m beginning to see what the main problem is. I isolate myself too much. It’s great for me personally, but it’s about the dumbest thing to do when one is trying to make it in any business. There have been a few times where I branched out, but I never took it too seriously. That picture of $200,000 changed everything. I… hmm. I’ve spent my entire life wanting to stay away from everyone, avoiding conversation and communication unless it was absolutely necessary. Now I find myself 35 years old with an extreme lack of social skills that would have developed had I not stayed alone for so long. I’ve spent decades believing in so many things that may turn out to be roadblocks to success.
If I’m going to make it, I may have no choice but to completely step out of my comfort zone and be open and friendly to people in the business world. Last year I signed up for Bigger Pockets, the largest and most informative site for real estate investors to connect and communicate. Since that time, I never used it for anything. So I finished my profile, started messaging people, and I’ll take it from there. I also called Helena and she said she’d help, but I couldn’t tell her how. This is all new for me and… I don’t think I’ve ever said this… I’m not sure I can do it. I don't think it's possible to change my approach to society when I really don’t want to. I don't even think I can pretend at this point. My hatred of people runs deep, and I’m not sure I can ignore it even for an easier path to success.
So, Sam beat me to paycheck retirement. I had some time to think about what I could learn from that whole contest, and I think I’ve figured it out. It all has to do with the differences between Sam and I... differences that affect our business practices.
Ego
Both Sam and I have massive egos, but they’re not the same. I have an ego that lets me know I'm great, no matter what anyone thinks. It's me first, and then everyone else is second. Sam also believes he’s great, but only if others see him that way. He… he cares about how people view him. A few weeks ago he talked about how difficult it must be for me to walk around in the bank job garage knowing that my lawyer Marvin Wassle sees me there. He seriously believed that I not only cared what Marvin Wassle thinks of me, but that I want to be successful to join some kind of rich man’s club. He only feels good about himself when he looks good in the eyes of others… a perfect example of that being that picture he sent me of the $200,000. I mean, I could see it in his eyes when he first told me about the money… he desperately wanted me to ask him how he did it (which is why I didn't ask at that time). When I didn’t ask, he decided to send that picture. No normal person sends a picture like that unless he’s trying to show off, and it really showed that he needed to send that to feel good about himself. He also likes to invite me on trips even on days he knows I have to work, just so I could say “no, I gotta work”. I found it annoying at first, but now it seems a bit sad. I’ve always enjoyed knowing that my life is defined through my eyes and not through the eyes of anyone else, especially strangers. That’s something about Sam I’ll never understand.
Family
When Sam first got his commercial property, he had to do a full renovation. He had to fully gut the insides, and then make high-end apartments while fixing up the storefronts. During that time, he had to pay $2,000 a month for the mortgage when there was no rental income coming in and he had no job. His mom, who ran a statue making business, was able to support him during that time. This is just one of the many examples of how Sam’s family helped him get through. Without their help, he wouldn’t have made it through those times. I, on the other hand, had no help. The only time I borrowed money was from my father, Alan. I was getting late on my mortgage and borrowed $650 to make the payment. 3 weeks later, I paid him back with $700. When he asked why I paid him the extra $50, I told him not to worry about it. For me, it was a reminder that borrowing money from someone costs more than what's asked for. It takes a piece of my pride, and I would’ve rather pay for my own mistakes. But I'm starting to see that sometimes it's okay to ask for help, especially from family. I always say "I want to do it on my own", but isn't that kinda stupid? Until the day comes that babies feed themselves, no one ever does life on their own.
Isolation
Sam is a people person. I’ve known that since college. The guy has always known how to make friends. He uses his friendly personality to make business connections, and that’s how he’s been able to gain knowledge that can make him money. His store allows him contacts into the Muslim community, with the potential to make a ton of money. One of his clothing store customers, for example, owns a bunch of properties in Smalltown. The guy wants to sell clothes also, so Sam started talking to him and will begin wholesaling his store’s clothing products. That’s just one of many examples. He knows what to say to the right people.
I, on the other hand, am the complete opposite. I’m not a people person. I was this way when I lived in NYC, and it got much worse when I moved to Smalltown. I’ve always been against making new friends because people have a history of being major disappointments. So I stayed isolated. The only time I ever tried to talk to people was when I was with women, trying to get laid. You know, I’ve lived in Smalltown for 8 years. The only business contact I’ve made that whose services I don't pay for is Bob Rogers, and it was he who approached me! I made contact with Damon, but I don’t consider him a business contact because he’s at or below my level of real estate knowledge. And how can I advance in real estate if I surround myself with people who are at/below my knowledge level?
Solution
As I write this post, I’m beginning to see what the main problem is. I isolate myself too much. It’s great for me personally, but it’s about the dumbest thing to do when one is trying to make it in any business. There have been a few times where I branched out, but I never took it too seriously. That picture of $200,000 changed everything. I… hmm. I’ve spent my entire life wanting to stay away from everyone, avoiding conversation and communication unless it was absolutely necessary. Now I find myself 35 years old with an extreme lack of social skills that would have developed had I not stayed alone for so long. I’ve spent decades believing in so many things that may turn out to be roadblocks to success.
If I’m going to make it, I may have no choice but to completely step out of my comfort zone and be open and friendly to people in the business world. Last year I signed up for Bigger Pockets, the largest and most informative site for real estate investors to connect and communicate. Since that time, I never used it for anything. So I finished my profile, started messaging people, and I’ll take it from there. I also called Helena and she said she’d help, but I couldn’t tell her how. This is all new for me and… I don’t think I’ve ever said this… I’m not sure I can do it. I don't think it's possible to change my approach to society when I really don’t want to. I don't even think I can pretend at this point. My hatred of people runs deep, and I’m not sure I can ignore it even for an easier path to success.
As far as Sam goes, he and I are good. In fact, I think it's time to consider him a friend. I decided to ask Sam how he made the $200,000. He said, "I couldn't tell you. If you could do it, I would tell you." I didn't press him further, but he brought it up again and said,
"Hey, about what we talked about earlier, I don't want you to feel like I'm keeping it as a secret from you or something. It's just that I was able to do it because I'm in a unique situation."
He brought it up one last time and told me bits and pieces of how he was able to come up with the money, and I put the pieces together easily. I don't feel comfortable saying exactly how he did it, but his "unique situation" pretty much explains it. He has a wife who was a former mortgage loan underwriter that knows how to prepare documents for approval, and properties that he "walked away" from. I think that's all I'm gonna say on that subject. Needless to say he was right. I would never do what he did to get that money because I don't like having to look over my shoulders. As I said it the beginning, Sam and I have our differences. But one thing about him is that his loyalty is never in question. And a guy who can come up from foreclosures $200,000 richer is someone I should always keep around. He'll retire his way. I'll do it my way.
"Hey, about what we talked about earlier, I don't want you to feel like I'm keeping it as a secret from you or something. It's just that I was able to do it because I'm in a unique situation."
He brought it up one last time and told me bits and pieces of how he was able to come up with the money, and I put the pieces together easily. I don't feel comfortable saying exactly how he did it, but his "unique situation" pretty much explains it. He has a wife who was a former mortgage loan underwriter that knows how to prepare documents for approval, and properties that he "walked away" from. I think that's all I'm gonna say on that subject. Needless to say he was right. I would never do what he did to get that money because I don't like having to look over my shoulders. As I said it the beginning, Sam and I have our differences. But one thing about him is that his loyalty is never in question. And a guy who can come up from foreclosures $200,000 richer is someone I should always keep around. He'll retire his way. I'll do it my way.
P.S.: Writing this blog is amazing. It wasn’t until I started writing this post that I realized that I’m using the stock market as a way to avoid making business connections. Instead of meeting people and collaborating ideas to make money, I would choose to stay alone in my basement and make money through stocks, continuing my real estate purchases that way instead. I gotta say, the latter looks far more appealing to me
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