Homeward Bound

Next week is a pretty big week for me. Besides finally having a finished apartment all ready for my cave-dwelling ass, I also decided to take time off both jobs and go back to Brooklyn.

I felt strange that, when Brooklyn Mike’s mom died, I went to the funeral and then rushed back to work. Brooklyn Mike didn’t seem to mind it, but I sure as hell did. My best friend of over 20 years’ mom dies and I can’t even stay to chill with him for a bit after the funeral? Because I have to go to work and look stupid at a security job?? For shame. Really, man. For shame. So I’m leaving Tuesday after work and will be there until early Saturday morning, when I’ll drive back to Smalltown to do my 12 hour shift at the shipping depot. My decision to take this rare time off was encouraged by the fact that the shipping depot job is now giving me vacation time. That’s two jobs that are now giving me vacation time, and that feels very good. Since it’s only for full-time employees, I’m wondering how this new development will impact my decision to become a part-time employee there.

The bigger reason why I’m going to Brooklyn is that I really hate Smalltown right now. Even with the prospect of a finished apartment on the horizon, I’ve just had it with these animals that call themselves human. From the autistic tenant Tisha of Property X to random people on the street, I’m slowly developing an intense hatred for this entire place. I think, every once in a while, I have to get away from here to see what real people are like. I need to see people like Brooklyn Mike and Nino… people with common sense that do things that are understandable. You know what I hate about this place the most? The staring.

Everyone here likes to stare at each other for no apparent reason. When I first came here, I thought everyone was staring at me because I’m dark skinned and not on welfare. But I’ve seen them do it to all kinds of people. See, I’m not used to that. I come from a place where people are too busy to mind my business. I remember those unforgettable nights when I was done with class and had to kill time before going to work at midnight. I would take the train to either the Village or Mid-town Manhattan, and I would just walk around. I miss those walks terribly. I’d be alone with my thoughts for hours, even though I was walking amongst hundreds of thousands of people. They didn’t care what I was doing. They didn’t care who I was. New York City has too much going on for all that bullshit. But here in Smalltown, it’s a much different story. I can't take these people without a break, as my amicable facade is slowly wearing down. I truly can’t wait to get out of here.

While I do believe that I can make money anywhere I want, there’s only one place I can go where I feel comfortable. It’s where I grew up. It’s where my real friends are. It’s NYC, and I can’t wait to go… home.